Piss Off All the Fuckers - America and Americans

Kidding of course.  No matter how high, I always delight in pissing people off.  Especially fat, lazy, stupid ass Americans.  Yep, let's go there.

Americans are taught throughout their youth that this is far and away the best country ever.  That in fact every other country in the world only wishes they were America.  Such utter, vile, putrid bullshit.  You see, most folks are quite happy where they are.  They may even tend to like or love the hell out of that place or country, and the only thought they give America is one of contempt.  This place isn't anything special, and in fact we are falling behind the rest of the world in basically everything.  Go cry you fucking turds, this country blows.

But Bob, you can only say such things because you do in fact live in America.

Oh, really?  According to my brain and the wonders of the internet, there are a lot of countries who also have laws regarding freedom of speech.  Hey, even the Chinese tend to call bullshit from time to time without getting into trouble.  This place may have made the idea popular, but it is far from the only country in which one can express their open opinions.  Let's also take into account people like Edward Snowden, who called bullshit and was labeled a traitor.  He exposed a shit ton of governmental corruption, and yet most of you only know that he is a "traitor" because Fox Motherfucking Asshole Worthless Biased Bullshit News told you so.  Or CNN, or MSNBC, or any other "news" agency controlled by corporate interests.  These same corporations are the ones who fund the needlessly elaborate and expensive "campaigns" these so called politicians are running.  You people eat that shit up, don't ya?

I'm so sick and fucking tired of American elitism.  Most of you corn fed dipshits can barely wipe your ass without praying to some asshole in the sky, much less make informed decisions about things like science.  You know, science, that thing that is slowly being strangled in America because certain people love to hit it with a god damned book.

Are there good things about America?  Dear fucking god yes.  I am spoiled purely rotten by the extravagance of this place.  I have neat little boxes that show me pretty pictures (often of women doing nasty things), and hopefully these fucking things will make me a living.  Still, a bejeweled demon cock is still just a demon cock, no matter how pretty it may be.

How dare you post such a thing so close to Veteran's Day!  Don't you care about the troops?

Would you care to explain to me what in the holy fuck supporting the troops has to do with hating this country?  Explain to me why I can't fully support the poor souls who are fighting, dying, and loosing themselves just to make a very small group of rich assholes even richer.  Fucking explain to me why I can't love and feel immense pride because my nephew is a proud member of the Armed Forces.  I hate you people, I hate the technocratic assholes who are fucking everything up, and I probably hate most of the soldiers too.  However, I respect them a great deal more than I respect most of you pukes.  Unlike most, myself included, they had the god damned balls to pick up a weapon and go get shot at, while being forced to shoot other human beings while basically invading and occupying their country as if they were Roman Legionnaires.  Most of them were looking to better themselves, a select few love to kill (and fucking good for them, I mean that), but almost none wanted to travel to a foreign land in some kind of fucked up Crusade where they can loose everything, their minds included.  Yet you motherfuckers dare to use them as leverage in your political bullshit.  If someone wants to cut defense spending, of which a tiny fraction actually goes to arming and paying troops, in favor of more social programs, then you obviously hate those troops.  Yeah?  Fuck you.

No one wants to actually help anyone else in this fucking place.  Everyone is so wrapped up in themselves and their own wants and "needs" that the thought of actually giving up just a little bit of that so that another human being can eat and survive is preposterous.  You mean I'll have to get a 32" TV instead of a 60"?  Umbungu can fucking die for all I care!  Again.  Fuck you, and in this fuck me too.

Well if you don't like it here, why don't you just leave?

Okay you motherfucker, buy myself, my son, and his mother a ticket to another country and I'll gladly see the last of you.  I'm not even asking for help once we get there, but just for the trip itself.  You see, I didn't choose to be born amongst you nut sacks, and I'd love to go.  However, since I was born here I've made something of a life, and have had a son.  If you even ask me to separate myself from him I'll cut your goddamned face off and feed it back to you slowly.  However, I'd love to get him the fuck out of here as soon as possible, even if it means sleeping on the streets for a while in another place.  I'm not saying that place will be any better than here, but at least I can teach him that there are in fact other cultures in the world.  Most of them are much older than ours, and many are far better in a number of ways.

So in conclusion, fuck you.  Put down your goddamned smartphones, move your fat asses from in front of that massive television, and get busy taking this country back from the corporate elite.  Otherwise everything I said here and more will forever stand.  I hate you all. 

No Title

Kiddies, kitties, women and children, welcome to the long delayed second or third (whatever) installment of Piss Off All the Fuckers.

I don't even know what to be upset about and rave over though, as I'm really, really high.  It is what it is...

In fact, I don't intend to piss off all the fuckers today.  I shall hunt them down and skin them slowly later, but for now I'll simply remind you of that nice little night light.  The one that gives you comfort.  Don't let it go out dearies.

The fuckers can wait for another day.  Pointless to post this perhaps, but life is nothing if not utterly pointless I'm afraid.  Ta ta for now, brutal violence awaits within a video game.

No Title

Hm, cobwebs.  Fitting I suppose.  He would forget me, but never doubt that I'm still here.  He may think me sedated, or indeed vanquished.  No, not vanquished.  He is smarter than that to be sure.  One must know their foe, and I do know him quite well.  Quite well indeed.

Never forget the demon lurking in the night.  Just because you can't see it, don't dare convince yourself that it isn't there. 

We are always here.  Always watching.  Always waiting.  Invariably, our time always comes. 

One day the beast will leap from the darkness.  It will tackle and devour you, and there will be nothing you can do.  You convinced yourself it wasn't there.  I am here.  Never forget. 

Ta ta for now kiddies.  Sleep well.  Go dig out your kid's night light.  You know you want to.

Gun Rage

To each and every person saying that the government shouldn't ban assault weapons because we may have to one day use them to rise up:  SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU RETARDED MOTHERFUCKING MORON.

Let me get this straight, you plan on fighting the most advanced military power in the entire world with your semi-automatic rifle?  I have a few things for you to ponder on: armed drones, missiles, air strikes, tanks, well trained soldiers with FULLY automatic weapons.  I could go on, but what is the point really?  If you haven't grasped the futility of your situation yet, you never will.  Have fun in your little fantasy land where your fat, lazy ass actually becomes a god damned hero by fighting against the gub'ment.

You people make me want to go into a rage.  Are you really this fucking stupid, or just that brainwashed by the NRA?  Especially here in America, where we are facing an obesity EPIDEMIC.  Over eating and being a fat ass is a FUCKING EPIDEMIC!  Have you grasped this?  While millions starve, we are so god damned well fed and fat that it is an epidemic.  That makes me want to just check the fuck out.  Your fat ass won't be doing anything but trying desperately to catch your breath while the real soldiers laugh before giving you the old double tap to the dome.

When the second amendment was written, a man with a musket could really cause some mischief.  One man with one musket wouldn't be able to stop an army, but he could seriously fuck their day up before dying if so inclined.  Many men with muskets could easily give them a really bad fucking day.  THEY DIDN'T HAVE TANKS, OR JETS, OR UNMANNED DRONES ARMED WITH MACHINE GUNS AND MISSILES, OR FUCKING SMART BOMBS!  Besides, the armies of the day generally lined up like a fucking shooting gallery.

I can already here some of you spouting off about Vietnam or perhaps even the trouble our military is facing in the Middle East today.  You know what, those people have been fighting for thousands of years.  Especially in the Middle East, they come from a tribal background of constant small skirmishes.  Also, they aren't facing a god damned obesity EPIDEMIC.  If anything, they are facing malnourishment and perhaps even starvation.  Now you tell me who will fight harder, the fat fucking animal or the starving one? 

Why do you need an assault rifle?  I agree that they are fucking cool as hell.  An assault rifle with a thirty round magazine is just amazingly fun on the range.  You won't be using that thing for hunting though, or for anything other than target shooting.  If you say home defense, then you are a bigger idiot than I can summon up words for.  A shotgun is for home defense, or perhaps a pistol.  An assault rifle will shoot through walls and endanger your own family and neighbors. 

I am not someone who likes to give the government power, nor am I anti gun in any way.  I am a proud gun owner in fact, but I'm also an intelligent and reasonable one.  I'm willing to give up the ability to purchase an assault rifle and high capacity magazine in order to keep them out of the hands of people who will use such things to massacre other people.  There was already a ban on assault weapons in the past, passed by your hero Regan.  I still haven't seen the concentration camps or gas chambers I keep hearing about.  Have you?

By the way, if one more motherfucker says that we should ban cars, knives, or hammers I'm likely to just have a total meltdown.  On the same day as the Sandy Hook massacre, a man in China did in fact attack children with a knife.  You know how many of those children died?  NONE.  NOT A FUCKING ONE.  How many children died at the end of a gun that same day?  With their fucking jaws blown off.  Oh yeah, read a little deeper into the story.   Hear the words of the poor parents who saw their own children quite literally blown to pieces.  They weren't little angels ushered into the loving arms of Jesus, they were poor frightened children who were shot by a well armed maniac.

I could make more reasonable arguments about how we need better mental health in this country, or better healthcare in general, but seeing all of these idiotic things on Facebook and elsewhere has just driven me into a rage.  Stop and think about what you are saying and posting before doing so.  God fucking damn it.

Sneaker Pimps and Toilet Paper

Some days you just don't have much to say.  It isn't so much that you are lost in a morass of depression or the like, just really don't have a whole lot going on upstairs.  The light may be on, but no one is home.

Today is one of those days for me.  My mind is pretty much on autopilot at the moment.  There are a few thoughts chasing each other around up there, but nothing deep or profound.  More like, "I wonder what ranch would taste like with peanut butter?  Ew.  Oh hey, I need some toilet paper.  That chick from Sneaker Pimps has a sexy ass voice." 

Those are the extent of the thoughts and musings for this day.  Sneaker Pimps and toilet paper. 

Political Thoughts

I'm awake during the day, and I slept at night.  It's some kind of miracle, or the universe is about to implode.  Either way, I'm sucking coffee like as if it were the nectar of life.  Maybe I'll even be productive today.  Hey, it could happen!  *cough* bullshit *cough*

So, onto business.  We find ourselves in the dawn of a new year, and unfortunately things aren't looking too good for the good ole USA.  Our government is far more worried about political agendas and holding the party line than actually accomplishing anything.  Those idiots nearly let the nation go sailing over the fiscal cliff, mainly because the GOP are a bunch of moronic asshats.  The Democrats aren't really much better though, just less organized honestly.  There has always been party rivalry, but in the past compromise was at least attainable.  Now we seem to have a government filled with schoolyard children who fold their arms and pout, saying it's either my way or no way.  The filibuster is being used in ways it was never intended to, often over trivial matters that pass unanimously later.  The GOP in the House, led by Boehner (whom I often call Boner in my head), were going to refuse a vote on Hurricane Sandy relief until members of their own party called them out on their bullshit.  They are playing politics with disaster relief, which is downright disgusting.

I would ask how we keep electing people like this, but the answer is painfully obvious.  Most voters are sheep.  If either party tells them something on the glowing box, they will fall into line and parrot the talking points.  People buy into the spin, it's really that simple.  Why else would working people think the republican party has their best interests at heart?  Mitt Romney headed the most disingenuous campaign in modern history, much to the fact checker's delight I'm sure.  Being caught in lies didn't stop him however, it only seemed to fuel further and grander lies.  Their campaign philosophy seemed to be that if you say something often enough, people will begin to believe it is truth.  Unfortunately, it almost worked.

We also have Fox News and conservative talk radio to contend with.  These people spin the truth however they wish, with near impunity.  The internet has made a real effort in recent history to call them out, but it seems a vain effort.  No matter how many times they are caught outright lying, their viewers and listeners still believe them to be the best and most unbiased source of news. 

It seems to me that our nation is teetering on the edge of a cliff, and not just a fiscal one.  If changes aren't made in our government, and quickly, we will topple over it with no hope of rescue.  With much of the world tied hopelessly to our economy, this would be a major disaster for everyone.  In time the rest of the world would recover, but I don't think the US would ever fully recover from such a momentous fall.

The people of this nation need to wake up.  We need to make a real effort to let those in power know that they are serving us, not the interests of their parties.  We have the power of our votes, the power of our voice, and the power to change the god damned channel.  It's high time we start using them properly.

2013

Hey, we survived.  Go figure.

So I started this thing on a whim, and as such it has had no real direction to speak of.  I enjoy that kind of freedom, but also think it's about time to steer this ship of raving lunacy into calmer waters.  Thoughts and musings encompass so much more than wild ravings and an attempt to piss off...well, basically everyone.  My mind can be a cold, dark place full of sharp thoughts and countless middle fingers.  There is no such thing as an endless abyss however, and enshrouded in all of that rage, hatred, and depression there is also a love for the world and life itself.

I will stop neglecting this little experiment and update more often, and also make a valiant attempt to be a bit more coherent.  I'm not really sure where this will all lead, but I'm hoping it's at least interesting. 

As for now, I'm exhausted.

Here's to a great year for all.