Piss Off All the Fuckers - America and Americans

Kidding of course.  No matter how high, I always delight in pissing people off.  Especially fat, lazy, stupid ass Americans.  Yep, let's go there.

Americans are taught throughout their youth that this is far and away the best country ever.  That in fact every other country in the world only wishes they were America.  Such utter, vile, putrid bullshit.  You see, most folks are quite happy where they are.  They may even tend to like or love the hell out of that place or country, and the only thought they give America is one of contempt.  This place isn't anything special, and in fact we are falling behind the rest of the world in basically everything.  Go cry you fucking turds, this country blows.

But Bob, you can only say such things because you do in fact live in America.

Oh, really?  According to my brain and the wonders of the internet, there are a lot of countries who also have laws regarding freedom of speech.  Hey, even the Chinese tend to call bullshit from time to time without getting into trouble.  This place may have made the idea popular, but it is far from the only country in which one can express their open opinions.  Let's also take into account people like Edward Snowden, who called bullshit and was labeled a traitor.  He exposed a shit ton of governmental corruption, and yet most of you only know that he is a "traitor" because Fox Motherfucking Asshole Worthless Biased Bullshit News told you so.  Or CNN, or MSNBC, or any other "news" agency controlled by corporate interests.  These same corporations are the ones who fund the needlessly elaborate and expensive "campaigns" these so called politicians are running.  You people eat that shit up, don't ya?

I'm so sick and fucking tired of American elitism.  Most of you corn fed dipshits can barely wipe your ass without praying to some asshole in the sky, much less make informed decisions about things like science.  You know, science, that thing that is slowly being strangled in America because certain people love to hit it with a god damned book.

Are there good things about America?  Dear fucking god yes.  I am spoiled purely rotten by the extravagance of this place.  I have neat little boxes that show me pretty pictures (often of women doing nasty things), and hopefully these fucking things will make me a living.  Still, a bejeweled demon cock is still just a demon cock, no matter how pretty it may be.

How dare you post such a thing so close to Veteran's Day!  Don't you care about the troops?

Would you care to explain to me what in the holy fuck supporting the troops has to do with hating this country?  Explain to me why I can't fully support the poor souls who are fighting, dying, and loosing themselves just to make a very small group of rich assholes even richer.  Fucking explain to me why I can't love and feel immense pride because my nephew is a proud member of the Armed Forces.  I hate you people, I hate the technocratic assholes who are fucking everything up, and I probably hate most of the soldiers too.  However, I respect them a great deal more than I respect most of you pukes.  Unlike most, myself included, they had the god damned balls to pick up a weapon and go get shot at, while being forced to shoot other human beings while basically invading and occupying their country as if they were Roman Legionnaires.  Most of them were looking to better themselves, a select few love to kill (and fucking good for them, I mean that), but almost none wanted to travel to a foreign land in some kind of fucked up Crusade where they can loose everything, their minds included.  Yet you motherfuckers dare to use them as leverage in your political bullshit.  If someone wants to cut defense spending, of which a tiny fraction actually goes to arming and paying troops, in favor of more social programs, then you obviously hate those troops.  Yeah?  Fuck you.

No one wants to actually help anyone else in this fucking place.  Everyone is so wrapped up in themselves and their own wants and "needs" that the thought of actually giving up just a little bit of that so that another human being can eat and survive is preposterous.  You mean I'll have to get a 32" TV instead of a 60"?  Umbungu can fucking die for all I care!  Again.  Fuck you, and in this fuck me too.

Well if you don't like it here, why don't you just leave?

Okay you motherfucker, buy myself, my son, and his mother a ticket to another country and I'll gladly see the last of you.  I'm not even asking for help once we get there, but just for the trip itself.  You see, I didn't choose to be born amongst you nut sacks, and I'd love to go.  However, since I was born here I've made something of a life, and have had a son.  If you even ask me to separate myself from him I'll cut your goddamned face off and feed it back to you slowly.  However, I'd love to get him the fuck out of here as soon as possible, even if it means sleeping on the streets for a while in another place.  I'm not saying that place will be any better than here, but at least I can teach him that there are in fact other cultures in the world.  Most of them are much older than ours, and many are far better in a number of ways.

So in conclusion, fuck you.  Put down your goddamned smartphones, move your fat asses from in front of that massive television, and get busy taking this country back from the corporate elite.  Otherwise everything I said here and more will forever stand.  I hate you all.