More

My balcony.

A bottle of vodka.

Sisters of Mercy.

I have no idea what I'm even writing about, but the driving guitars push me on.

I'm in a mood.

Another swig.

Should I get all morose and look back on my life, or pissed off at the current state of the nation and the world?

I both adore and detest such moods.

Fuck it.

Another swig.

I'm restless. I want more. I've sought things in my life. Things I have been destined to never find. Such is life, but it irritates me still.

Restless.

I have no idea what I'm feeling right now.

Ribbons. The best song ever written.

Peace is an elusive thing. A fickle mistress. I long for peace. Peace I shall never find.

Her lovers queued up in the hallway. I heard them scratching at the door.

I finally understand that line.

Tomorrow I shall know peace again. For now I am restless, and I don't even know why. Perhaps it's in the air. Elections. Stupidity. More money spent on bullshit than actually helping those in need.

Lightning flashes in a calm sky. Very fitting.

Some people get by, with a little understanding. Some people get by, with a whole lot more.

Some people are walking contradictions.

Sleep. It beckons.

Another swig.

Goodnight.

Love

As I sit here on my balcony after a long shift at work, beer in hand and cigarette dangling from my lips, I find myself pondering a great many things in life. Love, happiness, dreams; these things and the concepts behind them all run through my mind.

I have spent the entirety of my adult life in an ultimately fruitless search for love. I have shared love with quite a few women over the years, love I would consider pure and true in its own time. Lasting love has always slipped through my fingers however.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder why. In the past such thoughts, and the feeling of intense loneliness that came with them would consume me. Now I find myself looking at things objectively; asking why I am even really concerned with such things.

Perhaps it is the human need for companionship, but in truth that rings hollow. When you look at our closest genetic relatives, you find a different approach to love and companionship. Monkeys and apes don't try to form monogamous relationships, and in truth are more likely to fuck anything that moves. I could get into the pack mentality and alpha male/females, but that really isn't the point. The point is, why do humans feel the need to find "The One?"

I blame our culture and society. Everything from religion to Disney movies teach us that we are destined for this great love. That we will find our supposed soulmate and live out our lives in happiness. This simply isn't true, even for those lucky enough to find someone they can love their entire lives, much less tolerate that long. Relationships aren't easy. They take a lot of hard work and effort. Because we are indoctrinated from such an early age to believe in this soulmate nonsense, when the hard times hit we often loose faith in what we have and begin to search for something that is more real, more pure. I am just as guilty of this as anyone else.

I haven't found that person that I can tolerate for the rest of my life, though it isn't for lack of trying. I'm sure my friends would be happy to attest to this. I've spent the majority of my adult life in one relationship or another, constantly seeking the fulfillment I was promised. Failure after failure can lead to a bitterness that eats away at you. I simply stopped caring, or at least thought I had. In truth, I cared more than ever.

These days I find myself blessedly free of the bitterness, but still lacking the desire to continue the search. I simply don't care anymore about finding someone to love. I no longer wish to squander that energy and time that could be better spent.

I have something else that fills that void to overflowing. I have a love more pure than anything I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. A relationship unlike any other on this planet. Something worthy of my undying devotion.

The love of my son.

Peace

I find myself in a rather peaceful mood this morning. It was an excellent night at work, and now I'm sitting on my balcony watching the sky lighten. In moments like these, I sometimes feel guilty for being angry about anything. Everything is so insignificant when compared to beauty such as this.

As citizens in a first world nation, we very often forget just how good we have it. I have the ability, for it is in no way a right, to sit here happy and well fed. I even have a cup of refreshingly clean ice water. As the meme goes, I have so much water that I freeze it, so I can add water to my water.

However, this isn't to be a post about the guilt we should feel for having such things. Life is too good and this beautiful moment too pure for feelings like guilt. I simply appreciate what I have. I appreciate the beauty of my life.

There is so much I could say about this zen mood I find myself in, but I think I'll just enjoy this sunrise rather than pecking on a phone. May you all have an awesome day that is free of morons.

Fuck. Just because it makes me giggle.

Until we meet again.

Huh?

My mind loves to give me the finger, and in response I often try to drown it in sweet, sweet booze. The fucker always manages to come back and donkey punch me though.

Fuck my mind, and the frothing, meaty goo that gives it life.

I have absolutely no god damned idea where I was going with that. See? Donkey punch!

Um...I was really pissed off by a few things earlier, but after some much needed intoxicants I've completely lost my train of thought.

It's hell getting old. I was never the sharpest crayon in the box, and with age mixed in, it would seem I'm now the crayon some toddler shat out. Red looks yummy!

So yeah, religion sucks, puppies are awesome, and god damn I'm loving this cigar!

Why the fuck am I even still writing? I should be masturbating, or engaged in some other productive activity.

Shiny thing!

Mitt Romney.

Doesn't that just have the ring of some awesomely bad curse word? The guy is a douche nozzle incarnate. Can anyone possibly be so fucking arrogant and stupid at the same time? This guy has Dubya beat. Dubya! At least that fucker was retarded! I think his job description was "Bullet Catcher", or "Meat Shield".

Mmm cigar...

Mmm beer...

Aaaand I'm done.

Rage

Thoughts and musings.

Here's a thought:

WHY THE MOTHER FUCK IS THIS COUNTRY SO GOD DAMNED BACKWARDS AND STUPID?!

Hey, James and Johnny want to get married! SO FUCKING WHAT?!

Why is it such a big god damned issue? Why can't James and Johnny get married? FUCKING WHY?!

If one more person quotes the same dusty old time that promotes slavery, sister fucking, and genocide, I'm likely to take said tome and beat them to death with it. I'm talking feeding them their own fucking teeth style beating.

Look, if you want to be Christian that's fine. If you've had some kind of divine experience, well then good for you. Go to church, read the bible instead of taking your preacher at his word (yeah fucking right), pray over your food, wear a cross...but for the love of your fairy tale god, STOP TELLING EVERYONE ELSE HOW TO FUCKING LIVE! We don't believe in the same batch of unicorn shit you do. So please do the rest of us a favor and shut your sanctimonious mouth.

Does gay marriage offend you? Who FUCKING CARES? Your entire religion offends me, but you don't hear me saying you CAN'T FUCKING GO TO CHURCH. Regardless of what I have to say, it damn sure isn't illegal!

I get so pissed off about this because of how stupid it all really is. If something offends christians, it must be wiped out. Instead of just going about their lives, they instead have to fuck with the lives of others. That infuriates me.

Oh yeah, let's not forget that inane argument that gay marriage will lead to people marrying animals and other such stupid shit. Right up front, fuck anyone who says or thinks this. Go die. Also, what's next in the banning of marriages aye? No more interracial marriage? You dirty racists! See, that can go both ways. Not only that, but my way makes a lot more sense. Go die.

Oh yeah, fuck Chick-fil-A.

That is all.

Stuff

Been a while since my last post, so fucking sue me.

I've been busy doing...stuff. Happy stuff. Yes, the Madman is actually happy. Go figure.

There are still rant-worthy things in this world, and I assure you that I will get to them in due time. This little outlet has brought me so much joy that it must be continued.

As for now, just rest assured that I haven't forgotten about this blog. I just really haven't had the time to write anything I actually like.

I'm actually brainstorming some story ideas I would like to post here and get some feedback on. So that may actually happen in the near future.

See you soon.

Fuck. It's a requirement that any post on here contain at least two fucks.

Goodnight.

Welcome Back Gentlemen

An actual keyboard.  It's almost strange to have my thoughts fly out of my mind via my fingers, instead of pecking out things on a phone.  True, the pecking method does allow me to think about what I'm writing much harder.  When it takes that long to get a word out, you have time to debate and decide what to actually write.

I also wanted to point something out.  If you are perceptive, you will have noticed that I use slightly different punctuation between the phone and the keyboard.  Do you see it?  Well, I'll just cue up the Jeopardy music and we'll wait.  Remember to answer in the form of a question.

It's a minor thing, so don't worry about being too flaming stupid to notice, I would also be one of the flamingly stupid masses.  I was taught the old rules of spacing after periods and commas.  Those used on a typewriter.  Two spaces after a period, one following a comma.  On a phone, it is honestly easier to just allow the proper (for a computer anyway) single space following a period, but my fingers are so programmed for the double space after so many years.

Pointless fucking rambling.

And now for something completely different...

Music touches us all.  No matter what kind of music you like, or even if you really don't listen to it at all, music is an integral part of your life.  We hear music in ads, on TV shows, in movies, on the radio.  Everything from full symphonies to those irritating god damned jingles that lodge product X in your subconscious.  Music truly ties our world together.  It inspires moments of pure joy, and drives us to maddening hatred.

For me, music is such an integral part of my being that I cannot imagine life without it.  All it takes is hearing a certain song, and I'm transported backwards in time.  Allowed to once again feel the same rush of emotion I did at 19.  Music can cradle me in darkness, or lift me up out of a funk.  It can make me smile, drive me to tears, and touch my life in far too many ways to list here.

With that said, perhaps some of you more seasoned readers will remember the thrill of hearing an awesome new song on the radio.  In a time before anyone could just grab their phone and find whatever it is they might want to listen to, hearing a new song on the radio that stood head and shoulders above the rest got my blood pumping.  Of course, I have no desire to return to said times and smash things with my club while grunting and shitting in my own hand.  Poo wars!

That happened to me a couple of days ago.  I had totally missed The Offspring dropping their new album.  I might also have just written it off.  The Offspring haven't done anything good in years.  Their music used to stir something inside of me, and then came Pretty Fly (For a White Guy).  Enough said on that.  So imagine my surprise when I heard Dexter's unique tones wailing in and out of what was one of the best songs I had heard in quite some time.  There was a moment of sheer joy.  One of my favorite bands may have pulled its head from its ass, and actually created something beautiful.  A song that reminds me of the old days, makes me feel young again, but in a mature way.

Days Go By.

God.  Damn.

The rest of the album, also named Days Go By, does more than simply support the title track.  The album builds upon the song in a big way.  It becomes a ride through blessed sonic joy.  It is the best thing I have heard in years.  Period.

There are a couple of typically Offspring goofy songs, but they are few and far between.  I've only heard two so far.  Out of twelve, that isn't bad.

I'm grinning like a fucking idiot while my feet tap to a beat that also has me doing the white boy nod.  Good stuff.

M'kay, enough of that unabashed fangasm.  This is what music does to me when it's...just...right.  Perfect.  It touches something deep within me, a thing I could never describe.  If anything, music is my soul.

Welcome back gentlemen, and thank you so much.  I'm allowed to have idols again.  Someone I can truly look up to.  Someone who lost their way, but managed to claw back into my musical heart.  It's no secret that I'm a bitter bastard, and you have me dancing around like a teenager again.

It is moments like this that I am reminded of just how fucking beautiful life is.

Once again something different...

Whee!

Guys, I've really been blessed with some awesome people reading this blog.  People I had no idea would even be interested in anything I might have to say.  I really hope you are enjoying yourself, and I really appreciate you taking your time to read my drivel.  Time is precious, and not to be wasted.  I'm glad you don't feel I am a waste.  That's pretty much it really, I just wanted to say thank you.

I hope to keep pumping this shit out as often as I can formulate coherent thoughts.  It is becoming easier every time, and I'm really having a fucking ball with this.  Thanks for the support.

Okay enough emotional shit...

I'm really feeling some nasty shit brewing in the depths of my mind, and Piss Off All the Fuckers needs another episode.  Yup.

Goodnight.

America, Fuck Yeah!

After that, I always have to over dramatically sing, "we're on our way to save the motherfuck'n day yeah!"

So, America. Yeah. I don't care what anyone says, I fucking love this place. Not where you expected this to go, is it?

There are some amazing countries in the first world, and like it or not we're one of them.

Is America perfect? Well fuck no. Is the South a stinking pit of illiteracy? Yup! I still love it too, just wish it would bathe more often and cut its fucking mullet.

Where else can my primary stress come from a regular job that pays well? I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clean water to drink, and a giant TV to fucking worship. I have a car, spending money, and this fucking magical phone to play on.

Life is good.

This place is worth fighting for. I don't just mean in the traditional military sense either, although I highly respect the men and women in uniform. This country is sliding into decay, and god fucking damnit it is worth saving! The apathy and angst destroying us need to be molded into more productive mindsets.

So you hate the government, vote. Do your goddamn research. Make your voice heard. Make informed decisions on every level of government, local to federal. Vote god damnit. I know it often doesn't seem to make a difference, but if enough us get involved, we can change that. It's all up to us.

Well dear readers, I'm headin out to see some old friends. I intend to feed my happiness and good cheer with alcohol and awesome company this day, and what a glorious day it shall be.

Happy birthday America, you mangy fucking mutt I can't help but love.

Little Yellow Pad

My little yellow pad. On a fucking phone. I often forget the magical device I now hold in my hands.

You see folks, I have mainly pecked out this blog on my iPhone. That's boring shit you don't really need to know, but there it is. Yay!

Getting back to getting back all of a sudden, as a dear, but very worthless friend of mine always said.

Magic!

I fucking hold magic in my hands. This social device has transcended its meager beginnings of being packed into suitcases, and now become a device I literally rely on in my daily life.

I never did get my god DAMNED jet pack, or flying car. I do however, have a thing that would drive science fiction writers of the past to premature deaths by unending orgasm.

I am living in the god damned future, and it's full of cats! Imagine trying to explain that shit to an earlier version of yourself. Wouldn't go down pretty I imagine, but past me is a dick, so there is that.

The future! This fucking "phone" can do far more shit than my first computer that was connected to that screeching, abysmally slow thing we used to call the Internet. Minutes for a single porn picture, obtained from IRC. Truly the Dark Ages. Hell for a fifteen year old boy.

I can look up anything I desire. No piece of trivia goes unanswered. That one song I used to love is no longer an eternal mystery. Music, movies, social interaction, and yes even porn is all merely a few pecks away.

This god damned thing is amazing. Fucking magic.

Who would have ever imagined that phones would be the technology that most shapes humanity? That phones, fucking phones would be the thing that changes our every day lives the most within our age?

Ponder on that for a while.

Goodnight.

Happy Fun Blog Time!

Oh yay, it's happy fun blog time everyone! Isn't that special? Whee!

Didn't really feel like doing another episode of Piss Off All the Fuckers tonight. This will be a positive blog! *cough's bullshit*

Yeah, you knew better didn't you? Hope so. I think I once posted something on here mainly consisting of the word fuck. Or is that every time? Who fucking cares?

Tonight's fuck filled adventure will be into the world of gay marriage. A thing surrounded in controversy for some god damned reason.

So let's dive right in. Get straight to the point. Who fucking cares? I mean really, who fucking cares either way?

Some people want to marry each other, and...yeah thats pretty much it. No fall of fucking society. No rape of traditional marriage. It's a goddamn nonissue people.

Let us dig a little deeper. Some book says that gay people are evil. It probably says this on the same page it describes the laws of slavery, and pretty much relegates women to slave status.

Come the fuck on.

The vast majority of hate for gay people and their lifestyle can be traced right back to A FUCKING BOOK! Can no one else see just how god damned ridiculous this is? A BOOK! ITS A FUCKING BOOK! Words on paper people. These words, nor the paper they are printed on are blessed by some bald fuck in the sky. If they are, he is one petty mother fucker. Please refer to one of my previous posts for thoughts on that subject.

Also, how in the name of fuck can letting gay people marry hurt "traditional" marriage? Straight people have pretty much murdered that one on their own. At this point I'm not sure there is much that can make the institution of marriage look any less appealing.

By the way, if one more person says that it will lead to people marrying animals and inanimate objects, I will likely shoot said person in the face with my trusty, rusty harpoon. Go die you moron. How can you possibly compare crazy shit like that with two consenting adults?

There are far more important things in the world to worry about. Fuck me, there are more important things in my current vicinity to worry about. What song Pandora is playing, what video game might interest me, what crazy cat picture to look at next. I think you see my point. This "issue" does not even show up on my radar. I cannot be bothered to care. Can't bring myself to give a fuck.

That's pretty much it. I don't fucking care who is getting married. Have fun and good luck. From what I've seen, you'll need it.

Goodnight.

Piss Off All the Fuckers: Episode One

Ladies and gentlemen! I welcome you to the first ever installment of Piss Off All the Fuckers!

This show type thing, existing entirely within my broken mind, has only one purpose. See how badly I can piss fuckers off. You, my gentle readers, may or may not be said fuckers. Thusly, I may just manage to piss you off with my vitriolic spewing of rage towards things I despise. I'm not sorry if this happens, as you are obviously fuckers if it does.

And now, on with the show!

Today's topic is the big one. The thing that may just get me shot: God. Namely, the modern Christian take on God.

Hey, start things off with a bang, right?

***

God. The bearded white guy in the sky. Sitting upon his judgmental cloud of righteousness. The fucker who supposedly started all this shit, then wiped it all out, and started it again with one hell of a lot of inbreeding. (Explains a lot if you think about it.)

I fucking hate him.

Why, you ask? How could I possibly hate my supposed creator? Allow me to explain.

IF God is real, and IF he did actually create all of this and all of us, he's a dick. A massive fucking donkey wang.

First off, allow me to attack the basis of the Christian religion. Christ.

So, God is omnipotent. He made all, sees all, and knows all according to some book a bunch of desert dwelling savages wrote ages ago.

At some point he shat out man, then stole a rib (which we somehow got back apparently) and made woman. Looked at her and said, "woo! Man!" (thanks Bill Cosby)

He set them free in a paradise, then told them they could do anything but eat from a couple of trees. Basically, he sat a toddler down in front of a deck of buttons and said push any one but the GIANT FUCKING RED ONE IN THE CENTER.

Guess what happened.

Supposedly a talking snake had something to do with it as well, but he really seems redundant at this point aye?

So now the entire human race is saddled with a sin they had no hand in committing. See, kind of a dick move.

Time goes on, a lot of death and sex go down, and God finally decides we no longer need to be sinners at birth. We're doing just fine on our own, thanks.

He's omnipotent, remember? So does he wave his godly hands and erase the sin? Well fuck no, that makes entirely too much sense!

Instead, he decides to knock up a MARRIED human woman with...himself. Some Arkansas shit going down here.

So he is born and promptly disappears for decades, only to return after having obviously spent some time at a hippy commune. He then proceeds to spread an awesome message of peace and love. Something modern Christians really need to take notes on. Then, at the peak of his hippy goodness, allows himself to be nailed to a cross as a sacrifice to...HIMSELF, in order to absolve the original sin. Not only is he a dick, but one fucked up masochist as well.

Making the religion about some poor Jew getting nailed to a plank of wood, instead of the wonderful message said Jew was spreading is a dick move in my book.

Oh, but you say that man has corrupted the message and I shouldn't blame God. Well, I've been repeatedly told that the Bible is "the word of God". Lick me.

Now that I've delved into that completely fucked up tale, let's move on.

This world is shit. Pain, suffering, and strife are commonplace. They always have been. Not just at the hands of man, often following their interpretation of God's word. No, there is sickness and disease, unexplained accidents, and a myriad other things that have nothing to do with man.

Cancer. Why would a loving god allow such a thing to exist? He's a dick, that's why. Donkey wang.

Cancer took my father from me when I was 17. A time of massive change and upheaval in my life. A time when I needed my father the most. Fuck cancer.

People suffer and die every day under the stewardship of this supposedly loving creator. If he truly exists, and is truly omnipotent (an idea I think I've pretty much poked enough holes in to sink a battle ship), why can't he make the world a place worth living in? Why does there have to be pain and suffering at all?

You guessed it, he's a dick.

I'm sure I'll get many responses of the God works in mysterious ways variety. Well...fuck his mysterious ways, and fuck him.

I think you can probably gather by now that I don't believe in God. I have no need for him. I do not fear eternal damnation, and wouldn't need said fear to keep me from fucking people over in the first place. I have a conscience. I don't fuck people over because it's wrong, not because some sadistic dickhead is watching me from atop a cloud.

I often hope I am wrong though. I hope there is a God and I have to stand before him in judgement. I assure you, it won't go down quite the way you think. The judgment will be coming from me. I will be the one to flip him the bird, moon the bastard, and give the ultimate FUCK YOU before being booted down into yet more pain and suffering.

It's going to be epic.

***

I hope you have enjoyed the first ever installment of Piss Off All the Fuckers. If not, then why in the fuck are you still reading? What possessed you to make it this far? Don't blame me, you're the fucking idiot.

In coming episodes, I will yet again tackle religion and it's deleterious effects on human society. I will also move on to politics, bad music, terrible books, shit movies, and anything else that pisses me off and might just piss off a few fuckers.

Be sure to tune in! (Or don't. I'm just a crazy man with access to the world. Thank you Internet!)

Goodnight!

Magic PIll

I received a huge compliment today.  Someone I highly respect posted on Facebook saying that I needed to write another blog.  So without further ado, let's get on with this thing.

This post will be a sober one, as I spent last night reaching a state somewhere a couple of light years beyond shit-hammered.  Also, I happen to be on call until seven this morning, and thus risk loosing my job if I indulge in certain alcoholic libations.  I hope it is as entertaining, though I won't be using my favorite word quite as often.  Fuck for those who were wondering.

Perhaps it's the lingering hangover, or maybe just my mindset today, but I find myself feeling quite somber today.  This isn't a new thing.  In fact, it's something I have dealt with for as long as I can remember.  Depression, the doctors call it.  Mainly so they can launch pills at your face with a slingshot.

Why does the answer always have to be a fucking pill?  Feeling sad?  Take this pill.  Feeling some heartburn?  Eat better?  Well fuck no!  Just take this pill and shove more greasy, processed bullshit down your face hole.  Getting fat?  Here, take this GOD DAMNED pill instead of getting off of your lazy ass!

I'm not saying that some things don't require the use of pills and medicines, so please don't come at me with that tired ass argument.  All I'm saying is that every little ailment doesn't require a pill.  In the case of depression and mood disorders, a healthy dose of willpower and a change in lifestyle can work wonders.  Besides, no one said that a person should be happy all the time.  Up's and down's are a part of life.  Deal with it.

Let us not even get into the horrid fucking side effects.  I still get a laugh at all of these commercials on TV for different medicines.  The fact that they are advertising for drugs is fucking mind blowing enough.  That should be something discussed with a doctor, not chosen because of happy people on a commercial who's fucking herpes was obviously keeping them from kayaking.  While watching these happy, herpes ridden wretches do their thing, the announcer lists all of the possible side effects for the herpes bane.  No more outbreaks, but you'll go blind, grow hair on your palms, and...oh wait...

If you want a good laugh, look up Herpex on YouTube.

The hangover is winning though.  My thoughts are more muddled than a Bob Dylan song.  So, there is my mini rant for the evening.

I'm done for now.

Good night.

New and Shiny

Fuck, fucking, fuckity, fuck fuck fuck!

There, now that you know what to expect, allow me to introduce you to my new blog.  I have pondered over how to start a blog for quite some time now, and I think that pretty much sums up exactly what this blog will be about.  My thoughts, my musings, take on religion (oh, get ready baby), politics (*insert video of a nuclear blast here*), and cats with their faces shoved into a piece of bread (seriously, WTF?).

I honestly have no idea what this will evolve into.  I can only say that the title is very fitting.  Madness ensues.  I will not hold back.  I will not concern myself with the feelings of others, no matter how loved (sorry Sis, I did warn you).  I will tear into everything I possibly can, with absolutely no rhyme nor reason, and most likely abuse the English language as I often do myself.  That is to say unmercifully, and unashamedly.

If you don't like it, fuck off.  If you do, fuck right on in.  By the way, I adore the word fuck.  It is the most versatile word in the entirety of the English language, and thus deserves to be used as often as possible.  FUCK.  Yeah.

I'm currently perched on a cheap ass fold out couch my room mate so lovingly allowed me to lay my head upon when I fall into that comatose state known as sleep.  Otherwise I would be laying my over-sized cranium (HEED! PANTS! NOW! - lets see who catches that movie reference) upon the floor.  Our new apartment has very nice carpet by the way.  My computer sits with it's case torn open and exposed to the world (fucking POS overheats otherwise), much like the neurons of my brain seem to be when exposed to the sheer amount of human stupidity I am exposed to daily.  The monitor rests upon a cheap ass, plastic chest of drawers...thing.  I have no idea what it is besides a WalMart-special storage bin.  Yet again, donated by my awesome room mate.  I have little to my name, besides a history of stupid fucking decisions that have led to my current lot in life.  That is a tale to be expounded upon in this blog, however.  No need to blow my load so soon.  I will say that women will be the fucking death of me.  My keyboard rests upon my knees.  Look mom, I can type without looking!

Where the fuck was I?

Um....fuck.

Should I even keep this stupid fucking ramble going?  Oh, fuck yes!  The rum flows through my veins, and the nicotine dangles from my lips.  The Sisters of Mercy moan their gothy bullshit into my ears.  The time for rambling is at hand.

No, wait.  YouTube has decided that I need to hear yet another godforsaken ad, followed by the sweet sound of...The Cult.  FUCK YES!  Fuck yes to The Cult - She Sells Sanctuary, not the ad that reminds me of my age and just how much I have grown to loathe the internet.  I can remember a time when YouTube didn't try to sell me shit.  I can remember a time when the internet was a land of pure freedom, and not infected by the perversion of Capitalism our society has embraced.  Again, more on that later.

Oh yay!  Another ad I pay no attention to, besides that fucking annoying female singsong voice.  Goddamn fuck.  Oh wait, it's followed by more Cult.  Yeah!

Damn, I just keep typing.  When will this end?  Who fucking knows.  When I get tired and decide to use this fucking couch thing for sleep instead of using it as my pedestal for drunken ranting.

FIRE WOMAN!  If you don't know this song, you are dead to me.  Get off my goddamn planet.

Oh yeah, blog.

Um...well fuck, I don't know.  Enjoy, or don't.  This isn't for you, it's for me.  This blog may or may not be easier to follow in the future.  I may just be this shit-hammered when I decide to post again.  I promise no schedule whatsoever.  I mean, read the fucking title.  Thoughts and Musings of a Madman.  That really should tell you something.  I'm cutting loose.  I just don't fucking care what anyone thinks anymore.  The insanity lurking within the confines of my mind demands release.

I could probably keep this going for quite some time, but Ian Astbury has reminded me that I really want to be a rock star.  Too bad I can't sing, or play any instrument.  Fuck it, I'll just drink a bit more and drift off into a fantasy of being on stage, rocking out in front of thousands of adoring fans.  Who hasn't had that fantasy?  Pussies.

Ok, moment of clarity time.  If you have made it this far, I hope to have shocked you either into reading this blog, or fucking right off.  Yes, fuck really is my favorite word.  Yes, I am likely batshit insane (read the fucking title!).  Yes, this will be a lot of goddamn fun.  For me at least, hopefully for you as well.  I do hope to make the blog itself much more coherent, though even more shocking because of it.  If you are offended already, then good fucking luck.  If not, come with me.  We will explore the rabbit hole together.

Good night.  Good day.  Whatever applies.